Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ)
Who are your writing heroes?
Larry David and the Southpark guys.
Did you encounter any dangers while researching this book?
Yes.
One time, an overnight desk clerk offered to give me a tour of his hotel while regaling me with tales of its grand history. The stories were so engrossing, I almost didn’t notice when the clerk led me into one of the bedrooms and slid his pants off. It was at that moment I realized I had given the man the wrong expression.
I said, “No thank you, sir” and ran out the door.
Craig, having written a book on hotels, which do you recommend?
None. Buy a tent and sleep in the woods instead.
What was the most surprising challenge in writing this book?
Finding an editor who wouldn’t get offended and quit after 30 pages, which my first editor did over a couple of harmless Holocaust jokes.
Remember people: there is no comedy without tragedy.
Did you upset anyone else during the making of this book?
Yes!
This fantastic website your currently visiting was designed by the talented Jessica Norman. However, she wasn’t the first person I hired. There was another web designer who was briefly on the project. Unfortunately, he abruptly quit after his dog bit my hand, which became infected, and Animal Control was informed after I went to my doctor to get antibiotics.
I don’t know what the guy was so upset about. Animal Control has a two-strikes and you’re out policy and this was onlythe first strike against his dog. Hopefully something similar won’t happen with Jessica before she completes the site.
Craig, are you in the military?
No, but many people assume that because I’m bald.
As a bald guy, do you like bald jokes?
Yes, but only the good ones and at the appropriate times. An untimely bald joke can be disastrous for a guy’s confidence: like the time a girl told me on our first date, “I think you’re balder than my Dad.”
There’s no comeback for that.
Craig, why are these questions veering towards your hair unavailability and not the book? This is getting weird.
Yes it is, but this is the FAQ page and these are the questions I’m frequently asked, especially the ‘are you in the military’ question at airports.
What is your goal for this book?
To make you laugh while scaring you a teensy-weensy bit.
What is this book about?
Ultimately, this book is about the duality of man, forbidden love, redemption of the soul, man vs. nature, overcoming the monster, and hotels.
Where can I buy this masterpiece of American literature?
Right here
