About

My name is Craig Elmore and I fell in love with books at a very young age: from Hemingway, to Twain, to Dickens, all the way to 50 Shades of Grey. There’s no greater joy for me than losing myself in a book.

Just kidding.

The truth is I don’t remember the first book I read as a child, or the second or third, nor did I do my assigned reading in high school or college. Looking back, I have no idea how I wrote reports on books I never opened. I probably cheated.

For me, the idea for this book began when I was snowed in at a hotel in Minnesota, during a solo four-month work road trip. In my boredom and loneliness, I struck up a conversation with the night manager, and asked what it was like working at a hotel. What I hadn’t yet realized was that his fella worked alone too, and just like me, was desperate for conversation.

He began an hour-long speech about the challenges of his job: the dead bodies, prostitution, death threats, vandalism, and that one weekend where an “adult community group” rented the entire hotel to hold a private orgy.

After hearing the man’s stories, and giving him a pity hug, I went back to my room to go to sleep, but I couldn’t. I couldn’t help but wonder if the clothing-optional reception for the wedding ceremony that took place during the orgy was held in my room. I also wondered just how clean was the mattress I was laying on. More importantly though, these stories sounded like a book to me, one I’d finally be interested in reading.

For the remainder of my trip, I chatted up the night manager of every hotel I stayed in. After the trip concluded, I visited hotels at night on my own time, pretending to be a paying guest as an excuse for probing the employees with questions. While this led to me getting kicked out from more than a few establishments, it did help me develop material.

Along the way, I came across a talented college student named Tony Zepol, who crafted the illustrations not only on this website, but also for every story in the book.

Enjoy Your Stay With Us comprises the best, or some would call them the worst, stories I found. Enjoy but beware, this book will do for hotels what Jaws did for swimming in the ocean … you’ll never feel safe to go back in the water.